‘May Fly’ was just another black greyhound boy. He came to Tia Rescue as a stray from South Yorkshire, UK, on 9th April 2009, thin and filthy, and was renamed ‘Pim’ after his registration ear tattoo. Foster carers help when Tia is full (a common occurrence) and Joanne, mum to two three-legged dogs, happily stepped forward. Little did she know what she was letting herself in for…

Two books were published detailing Pim’s antics, which quickly become the stuff of legend. Tia will be making our remaining copies available very soon and we’ll keep you updated on the facebook page and website as soon as they’re available. In the meantime we’ll be publishing highlights weekly on a Sunday – think of them as a ‘Sunday Funnies’ present from us during these dark times.

All Pim’s stories are true. No names have been changed to protect the guilty. Tia would like to advise that Pim is very much an exception to the rule that greyhounds are placid, well-behaved and make great pets. Mostly.

DAY ONE

Who would have thought this day would be so different? It started just the same as every other one recently. But early afternoon everything changed. I thought I was being good, but I was jabbed in the neck then bundled unceremoniously into a car, after which I set off with two strange women.

It wasn’t too bad as the one who was not driving talked to me nearly all the way. The other one stopped the car rather suddenly a couple of times so I’m afraid I farted! Not loudly, but rather for the benefit of the deaf (silent but deadly, or ‘SBD’s).

We dropped off one of the women who left us in the car and returned a couple of minutes later with some food dishes and an extending lead for me. That left me alone with the driver lady – a few more SBDs! Minutes later we arrived at a farm where I had a little walk and was introduced to the men and two very strange dogs. You really must check this out – they only have three legs, but I must admit the do seem to have a jolly time.

We went in – guess what? – A HOUSE!! I spent the next two hours checking it out and soon discovered that upstairs the cats get fed and they always leave something in their dish. Unfortunately I hadn’t worked how to get back down before the driver lady discovered where I was. She had to carry me down – cue another SBD! By the third time she found me there, I was frog-marched down and had to learn pretty fast how to negotiate stairs in reverse.

Went on to discover I could lick the cooker, fish banana skins out of the bin, and wee on the carpet which seemed a good idea because it didn’t splash my legs but got me shouted at. I got my own back though – you guessed it – more SBDs!

Another walk and it was time to do something really weird. We all went into a room with a box full of people! I checked it out thoroughly, but couldn’t get any of the box people to pay me any attention, no matter how much I nudged that box.

Then I discovered a settee and – even more importantly – I discovered down the back of that settee two manky bones! All my birthdays came – at once! Apart from a few more SBDs, they kept me occupied for the remainder of the evening. Whilst everyone else watched that pointless television box thing.

Another late walk and it was time for dinner and bed, but I have to gobble mine up so quickly in case the others take it from me. I had a raw egg in mine – yum yum! I saw the chicken on one of the walks. Yup, it has been a strange day, and yup, I can fart for Britain. Wonder what’s happening tomorrow?

From: Pim’s Book: Memoirs of a canine Raconteur, written by Joanna Sewell, Illustrated by Neil Houghton.